But I'm A Mathlete!
by KeiraRizu
Summary: Castiel Novak has it all- honour student, like minded friends, and a loving girlfriend. So when he is accused of being gay and shipped off to a gay reform camp, he's outraged- then he meets Dean. As his world begins to move, Castiel begins to realize everything isn't as black and white as he thought. But can love blossom in the very place that's determined to 'cure' him? (D&C, S&G)


But I'm A Mathlete!

Castiel liked to think he was a pretty lucky guy.

He blessed with a loving father, a beautiful girlfriend, and had made it onto the honor roll- he was even the leader of his school's math team, the _Kansas Mathletes_. Yup- life was pretty damn great. At least, he thought it was.

All that changed one quiet day in October.

"Castiel!" a light voice called out. The guy in question turned around, only to be met by an armful of Anna Milton. He squeezed her tight, smiling against her hair, and heard her murmur a quiet 'I missed you' against his collar, causing his smile to widen.

"Hello Anna. Ready to head home?" he asked, pulling away from her and closing his locker with a quiet click. He watched a shadow cross her face, before she nodded and took his hand. He opened his mouth to ask her if she was ok, but she tugged his arm towards the door, leading him towards the school doors. He shrugged it off, tightening his grip on Anna's hand, smiling down at her.

Castiel gritted his teeth when Anna stopped to smell the umpteenth daisy on the path to his house. "Goodness, you have to smell that! It's the sweetest one yet!" So had the last hundred, he thought, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"Anna, I understand your passion for flowers, but I need to get home to study for the match tomorrow. I will buy you a bouquet next time, so may we please hurry along?" Anna looked up at him sadly, looking much like a kicked puppy, and nodded. She stood back up and latched onto his hand with a quiet 'sorry'. He sighed, feeling a little guilty for rushing her, but there is only so long a guy can smell the same kind of flower. Anna spared him one more glace before she fixed her gaze ahead, lips tight.

When his house was in sight, he let out a breath of relief. His steps picked up pace, reaching out for the doorknob to his front door when Anna pulled his back on his arm. He turned to her, eyes widening at the grim expression on her face. "Castiel…" she spoke quietly, grip on his arm tightening. "I love you."

Castiel smiled gently, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "I love you too."

With that, Anna released his arm, and he was able to turn the knob and walk through his door. There, his father Zachariah was waiting for him. Castiel raised his eyebrow, confusion bubbling as his father placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "Welcome home, son."

Castiel looked past his father, and saw his best friend Raphael, the twins Michael and Lucifer, and a strange woman he didn't recognize, all standing in his living room. The woman stood with her arms behind her back, and professional look in her eyes. She wore a knee length red skirt, and her shirt was a soft salmon. His eyes widened as he read the phrase plastered across her chest- _Straight is Great. _"Dad, what's going on…?"

Zachariah shifted to the side, leading his son into the living room. Anna followed close behind and closed the door behind her with a loud thud. As Castiel took a seat on the living room couch, the strange woman stepped forward, smiling gently. "Hello Castiel. You must be wondering who I am, and what we are all doing here." She moved closer to Castiel, hand outstretched. "My name is Bela, and your friends and family just wanna have a conversation with you."

Castiel looked at his father incredulously. "Dad, what is this, some kind of intervention?" He then lowered his voice to a whisper, "like the ones on the adult channels?"

"Now Castiel," his father started, hands raised in defenses. "We are all just a little worried about certain… behaviors you've been exhibiting."

"Behaviors? What behaviors?" Castiel's head was spinning. What could he have possibly done to warrant an intervention? Those sorts of things were reserved for drug addicts and porn stars, and last time Castiel checked, he fell in neither of those catagories.

Zachariah sighed, rubbing his wrist nervously. "Son… we're worried that you might be… um…" he trailed off looking uncomfortable.

"Gay." Castiel whipped his head around to look at Anna, who's face was seldom. "We think your gay."

Castiel snorted, letting out a shaky confused laugh. "You must be joking. How could you possibly come to that conclusion?" He was looking at his _girlfriend_ for heaven sakes! The very idea that he might be some sort of _queer_ was ridiculous and down right blasphemous.

Raphael stepped forward, holding up an evidence bag, with a picture of a half naked, muscled man lifting a weight. "Well for one thing, you don't have any pictures of girls in your locker, just weight lifters."

Castiel's brows furrowed in confusion- everyone had those kinds of pictures around. "So?" A picture of a half naked man was hardly proof he was abnormal.

It was Michael's turn, holding up a poster of _Moulin Rouge_. "You have posters of musicals and theater all around your room." Lucifer accentuated this by holding up another poster, this one of _Rent!_ "Some of which parade gay conduct."

Castiel blinked once. "But those are-"

"Lets not forget these," his father said, interrupting his son. He reached behind him and held out muscle men magazines. "No boy at your age should have these things lying around your room."

Bela nodded, turning her attention from the magazine to Castiel. "Hun, there is nothing to be ashamed of. You're ill- one can blame a homosexual the same way they can blame a patient for their cancer." She paused, letting out a breath like she was about to reveal something tragic. "I too used to be a gay- but now I stand in front of you as a healthy heterosexual. I work for a place called True Directions, a place where we strive to uncover the secrets of homosexual tendencies," she spoke gently, letting a soft and sympathetic smile stretch across her face, "and how to heal them."

Castiel felt his eyes narrow, stomach clenching into a painful and suffocating knot- this was getting more ridiculous by the second. "What do you mean by _healing?_"

Zachariah chimed in, his own face mirroring Bela's. "Therapy, son. Think of it like camp- you meet new people, you learn new things, and you get healthier from the pure mountain air!"

Castiel's face darkened, shifting back into the couch, his body tenser then he ever remembering it being. "This is absolutely absurd," he spoke, voice low.

Bela shook her head, eyes full of empathy. "Castiel, denying your illness won't make it go away. You need to embrace it- for your family and for yourself." She nodded at Zachariah, before continuing. "All we want to do at True Directions is to teach you how to curb and eliminate all those negative behaviors, so you can lead a normal and healthy life style."

Castiel looked around the room- every important person in his life was there, staring him down like he was some kind of mutant- some kind of _freak._. His eyes sunk to his feet, a sudden wave of shame encircling him. All he wanted was to sink into his couch and never face them again. "But I'm not… I mean I…"

Bela moved forward, taking a seat beside the boy, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Listen Castiel, the day my family sent me to True Directions was the day I was finally able to be the me I wanted to be. Don't you want to be normal?"

Zachariah nodded, smiling. "You know we only want what's best for you. This whole thing will be over before you know it. In a few months, you'll be home-"

"Months!?" Castiel exclaimed, his eyes widening as the feelings of shame warped into angry disbelief. His family and friends wanted to ship him off to a _gay rehab center_ based off of stupid stereotypes for _a few months?!_ His jaw set, and his eyes narrowed up at his father, shaking his head. "There is no way I'm going."

And that is how Castiel wound up on the porch of True Directions.

He stared glumly at his father, who was beaming as a short man approached them, dressed in a clean black suit and a pair of shoes that seemed unnaturally shiny. As he came closer, he straightened up, sporting a professional smile. "Hello, the names Crowley. I'm the bread and butter of this little operation." He sized up Castiel with his eyes, extending his arm for a handshake. "I presume this is Castiel?"

Castiel's eyebrows creased at the mans foreign accent- he must have come here from England, he supposed. He didn't like it- the words were twisted and sounded almost _smarmy_, though he wasn't sure if it was the accent or Crowley himself. He looked down at the mans hand, shying away from it, like if he accepted the greeting, he'd accept being there- which he certainly didn't.

Zachariah coughed slightly, nudging his son forward. After another moment, he took Crowley's hand and gave it a firm shake. "Sorry about that, my boys a bit shy."

Crowley nodded, humming in a way Castiel swore was condescending as he dropped his fathers hand. "Well don't you worry, we will take good care of him. Come along Castiel, we have _much_ to discuss." The more he talked, the less Castiel liked him. It was like everything out of his mouth was an innuendo, and he was becoming more convinced that it had less to do with the accent and more to do with his character.

His father gave him a tight squeeze, whispering 'good luck' before he turned around and nearly skipped off the porch in search of his car. Castiel turned towards Crowley, who still held his professional smile. With a wave of his hand, Castiel was following the short man up the steps of the house and into the building.

"Now Castiel, things here are very simple," Crowley explained, sitting down in his leather seat, leaning back and looking at the tense boy who sat on the other side of his desk. "Our program has 5 steps, and after you complete them, you're free to go."

Castiel played with the hem of his sweater, eyes glued to his lap. He was vaguely aware that the man was waiting for a response, and looked up briefly to catch the amused smile on Crowley's face, before returning to watch his fingers worrying at the fabric.

Crowley continued after it was clear the boy wouldn't respond. "The first step is to admit you're a homosexual, I'm afraid. So come on, out with it."

Castiel's head shot up, eyes narrowing sharply at the man in front of him. "I'm not a homosexual." He was sure if one more person insinuated he was gay he'd end up breaking the Lord's most important commandment.

"Yes, and I'm a six foot giant with a fondness for heroin. Come now, do I look like a idiot to you?" Crowley then let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand over his face. "Alright, let us try a bit of an exercise, shall we?" He folded his hands in front of him, adjusting himself in his seat. "Say you're at the gym, and you see a tall, well built man. He's lifting weights, his arm flexing. You can actually see his muscles rippling. Or how about him doing squats, moving up and down, over and over…" A knowing smirk took place on his face as he watched Castiel's eyes glaze over. "You don't have any… unnatural thoughts?"

Castiel blinked once, eyes widening as his mind snapped away from the visual. "I don't think they're unnatural-"

"Aha! And that, ladies and gents is the million dollar answer!" Crowley clapped once, standing from his seat. He walked around the desk slowly, taking stance in front of Castiel, arms crossed. "Seems like you'll be one stubborn nut to crack, my boy." He pushed a button on his desk, and the front doors opened. "Well, for now I'll have one of the other inmates show you around. We'll work on your delicious denial later in the day."

Castiel turned around to catch a beautiful woman stride into the room. She had long brown hair falling over her shoulders in ringlets, and he couldn't help but notice she was just as tall as Crowley. Their eyes were even the same shade of- "Dad, the brat is here to pick up the new train wreck." –there it is.

Crowley rolled his eyes, taking a step towards his daughter. "Castiel, meet Meg. Meg, Castiel. Charmed, I'm sure. Now-" he continued, giving neither teen to respond, "time for the tour."

Castiel look up. Way up. His eyes widened as the giant spoke, sheepish smile on his face. "Hey, I'm Sam. Guess I get the pleasure of showing you around." Silence. Sam shifted uncomfortably. "You're Castiel, right?"

"You are extremely tall," Castiel responded; neck straining with effort to keep his head tilted. The boy must have been have been at least 6'5, with longer dark hair that flipped away from his face, and a pair of sincere green eyes- well, at least _Castiel_ thought they were sincere.

Sam let out a chuckle, nodding. "That's me, your friendly neighborhood Sasquatch. Now c'mon, let's get this tour going."

The tour went great- Sam showed him the kitchen, the main room, the backyard, and everything in between… then they made it to the bedroom.

Castiel stepped through the doors, and his eyes widened at the sheer size of it. 10 beds lined the walls in a half moon shape in the middle of the room. The room itself was circular and bright blue, with blue bed covers, blue curtains, blue furniture- it was like everything in the damn room was blue! If someone was trying to make a point, they did a fantastic job.

"As you can see, this is our bedroom. The guys share this one, and the girls have another-"

"Sammy? That you?" A groggy voice cut the giant off, and Castiel watched a figure emerge from under the blankets of the bed to the far left. He was older then Castiel, with short, slightly mussed hair that was very similar to Sam's. His eyes too- though his lacked the same gentleness, and instead seemed hard and distant.

Sam rolled his eyes as the boy slid out of bed, only wearing a pair of boxers. "Dean, you're supposed to be outside for free time!"

Dean stretched, a lazy smile falling on his lips. "Well, it's _free_ time, Sammy. Unless the definition changed during my nap, I can do what ever the hell I want." His attention turned to Castiel, who was stunned into silence by the fact the boy had yet to put some pants on. "And who do we have here?"

Castiel shivered at the tone of Dean's voice, smooth and suggesting. Sam rolled his eyes a second time while his arms crossed in front of is chest. "He's the new recruit, Castiel. That also mean's he's _off limits._"

Castiel's eyes shot to Sam as Dean chuckled, taking a step towards them. "Don't worry your pretty little head, bro. I'll refrain from any… inappropriate behavior."

Castiel blinked, looking between the two. Was every one in this place related? He had to admit their relation made sense; they looked very similar, even if their personalities were on other ends of the spectrum. He scratched his neck, clearing his throat. "Inappropriate? Like what?"

Dean's smile turned filthy, his body moving closer to Castiel's, lips pressed against his ear. "Inappropriate like…" he whispered, hand moving to run his fingers down the stunned boys hips, "…me fucking you senseless."

Sam intervened then, shoving his brother away from the now shaking Castiel. "Lay off, jerk! That's not funny!"

Dean laughed, stepping a safe distance away from the two with his hands raised. "Relax, bitch. I was just having a little fun with him."

As fun at it was for Dean, it left Castiel's head swimming. His hip was lit on fire as it recalled the feel of Dean's hands, and an overwhelming yearning took hold of him, heat traveling towards the more intimate parts of his body- and lets not even mention the pulsing of his left ear. He turned his back on Dean, face flushing with embarrassment. "Sam, may we please continue with the tour?"

Sam shot his brother a dirty look before nodding, leading Castiel out of the bedroom.

"Hey man, I'm sorry about my idiot brother," Sam said as they made their way back to the main room. "He's having a hard time adjusting to all of this."

Castiel nodded, eyes settling to stare at his feet. He understood- he really did, but the feelings Dean had set free were overwhelming and unsettling. Not even Anna had ever made him feel that way, and that's the part that truly frightened him. The fact that everyone might be right- he really was corrupted.

As they entered the main room, they found Crowley, along with a number of kids he didn't recognize. They were all sitting in a circle, wearing the same outfits that Sam wore- or at least the boys were. They all donned blue button up short-sleeved shirts, a dark blue tie, and matching pair of shorts. The girls on the other hand wore similar pink button up's, along with knee length skirts that were a darker shade of pink. In the middle of the circle sat a large grey chair with a giant blue bow on it.

They all turned to look at the two boys, and Castiel shrunk back to hide behind Sam. Crowley clapped once to regain everyone's attention, and stood with a cold smile. "Welcome Sam, Castiel. I assume Dean is on his way?"

Sam nodded, moving to take a seat beside a short boy with slicked back hair. Crowley waved Castiel over to the grey chair, and the boy stepped towards it, nerves spiking on edge. Was this some kind of hazing thing? Were they all going to throw tar and feathers on him? Mock him? Or worse, condemn him?

As he took a seat, his eyes caught a figure enter the room- Dean. He sauntered over to the last empty seat, sliding into the chair with ease. His lips held a knowing smile that sent a shiver through Castiel's body, heart rate picking up. He really needed to stop looking at the guy- it wasn't good for his health.

Crowley cleared his throat. "Now that you all have finally arrived," he spoke, shooting a pointed look at Dean, "we can begin. Everyone, please welcome Castiel. Now if you could all do him the favor of introducing yourselves?"

The first person in the group stood up, a beautiful blonde girl with her hair tied back in a loose ponytail. "Hi Castiel, I'm Jo. I like horseback riding, judo, hunting, and I'm a homosexual." With that, she sat back down, crossing her legs.

Castiel was astonished- Jo was such a beautiful girl; he didn't understand why someone like her would turn down the path of homosexuality. Weren't lesbians just women who couldn't find themselves a husband? He couldn't imagine a man in the world who would deny her. It seemed like there were still many things in life he didn't understand.

The next person stood, the boy who was sitting beside Sam. His face broke into a lopsided smile as he raised his hand to wave. "Hey kiddo, the name is Gabriel. I'm all about the ass and the candy. And lets not forget I'm a raging homosexual!" Crowley rolled his eyes as Gabriel took his seat, smile still on his face. Now that was someone Castiel could see being gay. He was flamboyant, obnoxious and downright shameless- traits women tend not to find attractive. No wonder he had to turn towards the other gender.

Next was Sam, who smiled gently at Castiel. "As you know, I'm Sam. I like reading books, old movies, and I'll hopefully be studying law next fall. I too am a homosexual." Castiel tried not to dwell on the fact Sam was gay. He seemed too upright to be any kind of deviant. His brother on the other hand- he was going to hell six ways to Sunday, no doubt about it.

Next was another blonde girl, though not as pretty as Jo. She wore her straight hair down, and a thick pink headband adorned her head. "Hi, I'm Becky. I love fan fiction, slash pairings and gay porn." There was a pause for a moment, before, "oh! I'm also a homosexual." Becky seemed very… excitable. She was also another person Castiel could see belonging here- her very demeanor screamed _abnormal._

Next was temptation himself- Dean. He stood up, his dirty smile still plastered to his face. "Hey Cas, the name's Dean. I like sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky men. And I'm so very, _very_ gay." Castiel's eyes narrowed at him as he took his seat. This guy had no shame, no morality, and it was enough to make him sick. He even had the gall to give him a nickname! There was something very wrong with Dean, and Castiel made a note to pray for his soul extra hard that night.

Finally, the last person rose, a lovely brunette with full lips and dark eyes. "Hello Castiel, my names Ruby. I'm on my school's softball team, soccer team, and female rugby team- and I'm a homosexual." Castiel's eyes widened, taking in her small frame. To think her small body was conditioned to do all that, it was simply mind blowing. She seemed more of the stay at home and help with dinner type- the world really was full of surprises.

Now that the introductions were out of the way, Crowley brought the attention back to himself. "With that out of the way, it is time for us to address Castiel's unwillingness to admit his… problem."

Castiel's shoulders squared, his jaw tightening. "That is because I don't have one. I shouldn't even be here. The absolute notion that I could be… a _homosexual_ is crazy! I have a girlfriend for heavens sakes!" Everyone in the group looked at him, eyes disbelieving, like what _he_ was saying was crazy.

Crowley sighed, shifting forward. "Alright, lets look at this from another angle, shall we? Why does everyone _else_ think your gay?"

Castiel looked at his hands, recalling the reasoning his family and friends had thrust at him. "Well… I like theater. I watch musicals like _Rent _and I apparently have too many pictures of men around-"

"And you think that's normal?" Castiel turned his head to see that it was Jo who had spoke.

Castiel's eyebrows furrowed. "Of course. Everyone reads magazines. We look at other guys all the time. It's a normal part of life."

"Yeah, but you're only assuming they are thinking what you are. But they aren't." That was Sam, eyes full of sympathy- like he knows exactly how Castiel is feeling and what he's thinking.

Castiel sat in silence for a moment, retreating back into his thoughts. His mind wandered to the guys on his math team, and how he would sneak a glance at them when they bent over. He thought of the football players, pushing and shoving on the football field, sweaty and dirty. He thought of the curiosity he felt when he saw a guy with baggy clothing, and wondered how he looked underneath. Finally, he thought of Anna, and how he never stole the same kind of glances at her, never curious about how _she _looked undressed.

He felt horror coil in his stomach, terror crawling up his chest and into his throat. His eyes widened as his lips parted, and whispered, "oh God…" His head shot up, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. "I'm… I'm a homosexual."

Crowley nodded knowingly. "There you go Castiel. Isn't it a relief to finally get that off your chest?" He watched as the boy sat frozen, a tear falling down his cheek. He stood, moving to pat him on the shoulder, and the rest of the group- save Dean- stood and wrapped his arms around him, embracing him in a tight hug. Castiel felt himself cling back, tears flowing freely as he sobbed repeatedly that he was a homosexual, and that he was sorry.

Eventually the group retreated, and Castiel wiped his eyes with his sleeves. Everyone returned to their seats, and Crowley handed the spent Castiel a pile of clothes. "Here is your uniform- good work today. Everyone rest up, the real work starts tomorrow."

With that, everyone stood, said their goodbyes to Castiel, and retreated to their own activities. Castiel remained, staring at the blue fabric in a daze. He really was a homosexual. Everyone was right about him; he was a filthy sinner going to hell. His hands gripped the fabric tightly, eyes setting in determination. He wasn't going to go down without a fight- he was going to get better and he was going to spend eternity in Heaven with his family. He would make sure of it.

Castiel spent the next few days with his male peers, learning to do the jobs men were supposed to do. They practiced fixing cars, they played football, and they even learned to chop firewood. Castiel found he wasn't very good at any of it, but that didn't stop him from trying his hardest. He watched as Dean completed the tasks with ease, and told himself if someone like Dean could do it, he could too.

Everything was going smoothly; until Crowley sat them down to explain the next phase of their treatment. "Now everyone, today we are going to address the beauty of heterosexuality- friendship." He turned to Bela, who nodded with a smile, handing him a set of cards. "I've taken the liberty of pairing you kids up because, lets face it- if I left it to you, you'll end up pairing up with the one you want to… frolic with. So to avoid a full scale romp-fest, I've picked your partners. Keep in mind these are the people you'll be spending the rest of the program with, so do try your best to get along, alright?"

He then began to list off the pairs- Jo and Becky, Sam and Gabe, Ruby was chosen as Bela's assistant as there wasn't enough people, and finally- Castiel and Dean. Castiel's eyes widened in horror as his pairing was read, and caught the wink Dean sent his way.

This program was going to drive him insane.

Castiel sat himself across from Dean, knee's pulled up to his chest, while Dean's legs were crossed, his fingers playing with the grass they sat on. His eyes shot up to catch his partners, and that damned smile appeared on his face again. "So Cas," Dean began, leaning forward, "what do you do for fun?"

Castiel hugged his knees tighter. "Um… do you mind not calling me that?"

Dean tilted his head in mock confusion. "Call you what?"

"Cas. It makes me uncomfortable." Castiel's eyes lowered to the grass, watching the wind play with the blades.

Dean hummed, leaning back a bit. "Yeah, no can do man."

Castiel's eyes snapped back to his face. "And why not?"

Dean shrugged, eyes looking up to the sky. "I like it better then your full name. Less uptight."

Castiel held back a growl of frustration. How was he supposed to befriend someone who was so infuriating? "Well I'm asking you to stop."

Dean chuckled, lazy smirk on his face. He leaned in close, breaking Castiel's personal space bubble. "Make me," he whispered.

Castiel felt the familiar shiver he associated with Dean run up his spine, and his hand's came out, shoving the boy in front of him, causing him to fall backwards with a grunt. He stood up with a huff, looking down at the stunned Dean. "You're insufferable!" With that, he turned on his heel and stormed into the house, missing the smug smile on Dean's face.

"Wow, looks like your brothers more of an ass then I originally thought," Gabriel mentioned as he watched the angry boy stomp into the building.

Sam laughed at that, hand drawing another card from the pile. "Yeah, he's always been that way. He has a habit of teasing the crap out of the person he likes. Just like a six year old."

Gabriel nodded with a knowing smirk. "Yeah, I can see that. Too bad Cas thinks Dean-o's just a total jackass." He looked at his cards then back at Sam. "You got any three's?"

Sam handed over a card, eyes glancing back to his brother. "Well maybe it isn't such a bad thing. Maybe Castiel can finally show Dean the right path to take…." His eyes shifted to Gabriel's. "I mean, how rewarding is being gay, really? You can't get married, you have to hide your relationship- if you think about it, being with a woman would be much simpler."

Gabriel nodded, and silence settled over them. For some reason Sam couldn't pull his gaze away from his partners, and it seemed he was having the same problem. "You're right, women are so easy…" Gabriel breathed, body leaning forward.

"Totally…" Sam whispered, his own body moving forward. Closer the two inched before-

"Free time is up in ten!" Bela's voice rang out; causing the boy's to jump apart with a gasp. They stared at each other wide-eyed, chests heaving as they caught their breath.

"Um…" Sam started; running a hand through is hair. "Call it a night?"

Gabriel scrambled to his feet, dusting the dirt off his pants. "Sounds good!" And with that, he practically ran towards the house, leaving Sam to gather his thoughts and calm his raging… _emotions._

The problems started up again when it came time for family therapy. Everyone's parents visited the camp, and it was an opportunity to explore and heal their personal relationships.

Castiel sat with his father, watching everyone settle in with their own parents. Crowley stood in the front of the room, and after everyone was seated began the session. Castiel assumed it would go like every other session, but he was wrong.

This week they were going to discuss their homosexual 'roots'- the reason they turned down the path of homosexuality.

Becky was the one who started. "I don't know, when I saw the way Sherlock looked at Watson, I knew they were in love. And everything else just spiraled after that." She turned to her mother, who looked like she was about to cry. "I'm sorry mom. You were right about British television, it sends the wrong kind of message."

If that comment bothered Crowley, he didn't show it. He merely moved onto the next person, which happened to be Gabriel. He let out a dramatic sigh, like he was about to reveal a painful memory, and shifted forward. "It all started the day I saw Nick Carter, you know, from the Backstreet Boys? He was all tall and blonde and _mmmm!_" He made a noise of approval, and his father gasped, staring horrified at his son. He gave him a wide-eyes shrug. "What? Have you _seen_ the ass on that man?!"

"Alright, thank you, Gabriel. That's quite enough. Moving on," Crowley quickly diverted their attention from the boy to himself, trying to avoid indulging Gabriels's reckless behavior. "Castiel, why don't you go next?"

Zachariah looked at him expectantly, and Castiel swallowed hard. "Um… I've been thinking about this quite a bit, and I think it has something to do with my mother." Crowley nodded, waving him to continue. "Well, she died when I was very young, and um… Dad needed someone to take care of him, so I think I unconsciously took on the woman's role in the household. So maybe that affected the way I saw myself? That I was more of a woman then a man?"

Crowley nodded again, a smile on his face. "Very well done, Castiel. You were made to feel like a housewife by your father, and that's transferred to your other relationships. You want to be treated like that by other men, because you know no other way."

Zachariah's mouth hung open, and Castiel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "No, I never said-"

"No, it's good. We can work with that. Now-" Crowley started, but a voice cut him off.

"This has to be the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard." Castiel's eyes snapped towards the source of the voice. There sat Dean's father, arms crossed, his eyes dark and angry. Beside him sat a thin, blonde woman, whose eyes were lowered to the floor, her mouth a flat, thin line. Castiel had never seen a more miserable looking couple, and for a moment he sympathized with them. It couldn't be easy being so unhappy all the time.

"Excuse me?" Crowley drawled, eyebrow rising in offended curiosity.

"Does it really matter why he's a cock sucker? I'm payin' too much money for this kinda bullshit. Just fix em' already." He turned to Sam, eyes hard and unforgiving. "You and your brother better be getting more out of this program then the rest of these faggots."

Sam nodded, lowering his head in shame. Dean's jaw ticked, eyes shifting to stare out the window. His body screamed tense, like one move would shatter him. Castiel felt anger bubble up in his stomach-but he wasn't angry over the obvious derogatory terms directed at him and his peers. No, he was angry at the way this man talked to his sons, the assertion of dominance evident in his voice instead of love. It was like he regarded them as objects to be repaired, instead of people who needed help. Needed _him._

The man stood up, followed swiftly by his wife. He grumbled something about being in a room with faggots, and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Sam looked after them, face containing all the pain and shame his father made him feel. Dean, on the other hand, shook with anger. He reached out and patted his brother on the shoulder once, and the two rose, following their parents out the door without a sound.

Castiel watched them, heart aching with sympathy. All he wanted to do was follow the brothers out and comfort them, help them understand that their parents actions weren't their fault.

These thoughts stayed with him until therapy was over, and he had a chance to speak with Dean alone.

He found him out on a hill, lying in the grass staring up at the sky. "Hello Dean," he said, taking a seat beside him. After being met with silence, he continued. "You ok?"

"What do you think?" he mumbled, eyes closing.

Castiel looked down at his lap, biting his lip for a moment. He wasn't sure what to say to him- what could he say? He couldn't imagine his father talking to him like the way Dean's had. "I'm sorry about your father," he said lamely, and he wanted to smack himself in the face. What kind of insincere line was that?

Dean snorted, heaving himself up into a sitting position, eyes hard as they settled on Castiel. "Listen, choir boy. My dad is a dick, sure, but the last thing I need is someone pitying me or my family." He picked a dandelion from the ground, crushing in roughly between his fingers. "You don't know anything."

Castiel's eyes softened, and he drew his knees to his chest. "Then teach me," he whispered, eyes fixed on the ground.

"What?" Dean asked, and Castiel's eyes slid back to look at his partner, and was surprised to see the confusion present in his face.

"I said teach me. I can't promise I'll always get what's going on with you, but isn't it much easier to have someone to talk to?" Castiel didn't know why, but the vulnerability Dean seemed to exhibit at the moment touched him. This boy was crass and inappropriate, but all that seemed like a cover now, and Castiel wanted to peel it away layer by layer to see the _real_ Dean.

Dean's lip twitched, and a small smile grew on his face. "You really are a piece of work you know that? I thought I was… what was that word you used? Insufferable?"

Castiel's own smile emerged, and he lowered his head a bit, embarrassed. "Well, aren't we all a bit insufferable at times?"

Dean wore a full smile then, letting out a quite chuckle. "Man, you are too weird."

That was the first time in his life that Castiel was okay with being _weird._

Things got better after that- at least between Castiel and Dean. Instead of pushing each other out of the way during football, they were passing the ball with ease. Castiel handed Dean every tool he needed when they were fixing the old car, whilst before he'd have ignored him altogether. They were even beginning to spend their spare time together, and Castiel was sure they were on the fast track to being good friends.

Then things began getting weird again.

It started the Thursday after their family therapy session, and the boys were in the washroom brushing their teeth when Dean strode in, wearing nothing but his boxers- just the same as when they first met.

This was completely different. This time Castiel's eyes wandered. At first it was Dean's bare neck, strong, long and oh so very suckable. Then his eyes moved to the boy's pecks, toned and defined, followed by sculpted abs that were begging to be licked. Finally his eyes settled on the waistband of Dean's boxers, and never in his life had Castiel resented a piece of clothing so much in his life. Perhaps if Dean shifted a bit, the boxers would slide-

"Uh… Cas? You ok man?" The boy in question broke Castiel out of his thoughts, and suddenly his face was bright red, his chest tightening and his stomach dropping. Not only was he checking out a man, he was checking out a man who was supposed to be his friend! There was a special place in hell for his kind, Castiel was sure, and if he didn't stop this now, he'd be reserving a front row seat to damnation.

Apparently his groin had different plans, as it perked to life in the boy's baggy pajama pants. His eyes widened as his friend in front of him grew more and more confused, and Castiel turned away from him, taking off towards the bedroom.

Dean cocked an eyebrow and shrugged, muttering 'weird' under his breath.

If that wasn't bad enough, Castiel was visited by the boner-fairy that night as well. They had finally settled in for the night when he felt a familiar heat spread towards his hips. He cursed himself quietly, and rose, sliding out from under his covers and moving towards the bathroom.

The sounds of hushed whispers met his ears as he stepped into the large washroom. His eyes shifted over to the stalls, and caught a glimpse of feet under the door. Wait… two pairs of feet.

Castiel's eyes widened, and he pulled the door open with a rough jerk, snapping the flimsy lock and was met with a pair of large and frightened eyes. There, in the stall, sat Sam on the toilet seat, with a disheveled Gabriel straddling his lap. The boys were both missing their nightshirts, and the front of their pants were open, revealing-

Castiel reeled back, horrified. It was the first time he had seen homosexual relations so closely before, and while most of him was disgusted, the small part of his brain that couldn't shake Dean liked it. Liked the way Sam's lips were swollen from kissing, and Gabriel's face was flushed and red. He liked it- and that's what disgusted him most.

Before he could stop himself, a scream ripped from his throat. Gabriel scrambled off of Sam, leaping towards Castiel, hand moving to cover his mouth. "Shut up, you fucking moron!"

Sam stood, tucking his member back into his pants, and stepped forward to help Gabriel when a bright light shone in his eyes. He flinched, covering his face, and caught a glimpse of black as someone stepped forward. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

All eyes shot to the source of the voice, and were less then surprised to see Crowley, accompanied by disheveled Meg holding a baseball bat. Castiel looked from the bat to her and she shrugged, leaning the weapon against her shoulder. "Just in case there was a burglar. Or a possum."

Crowley rolled his eyes, and moved his flashlight to illuminate each boy's face. "So tell me- what was the cause of all this racket?"

Castiel pointed an accusatory finger to Sam and Gabriel. "They were fooling around!"

"No we weren't!" Sam pleaded, eyebrows knitting in concern.

"Yes they were!" Castiel's voice rose, eyes wide. He knew what he was doing here was wrong. He was panicking and scared of the feelings he himself was harboring, but it seemed much easier to point the finger at someone else then to look in the mirror.

Gabriel's eyes narrowed at Castiel, as if to say he would never forgive him. Castiel turned his face away, and listened as Crowley clicked his tongue in condescension. "Oh my. I have to say Sam; this is a bit of a surprise. I pegged you for a success story, really, I did. Unfortunately, you two broke one of my very few rules, and someone is going to have to pay." He looked between the two boys in question. "Come along. Oh, and Gabriel? Please tuck yourself away, it's not something all of us want to see."

Gabriel looked down and noticed in the heat of the moment he had forgotten to put away his member, and it was currently just waving about in the wind. He swiftly shoved himself back into his pants, and followed Sam and Crowley. He shot Castiel one last glare before he slammed the bathroom door behind him.

Castiel looked over at Meg, who was still standing beside him. "Um…" he mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

She rolled her eyes at him as she stepped towards the door. "Boy, I do not want to be you right now. The last thing a closet queer wants to do is piss off the other closet queers." And with that, she slipped out the door, leaving Castiel with an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Gabriel took all the blame for the incident. He told Crowley he coerced Sam into homosexual activity, and he should be the one to leave.

So that's how Castiel found himself face to face with the boy with his suitcase full of his belongings. "I hope you're happy," he shot, glaring for the umpteenth time at Castiel.

Castiel blinked in confusion. "Happy about what?"

"Does tearing people down give you a damn stiffy or something? What was so wrong about what me and Sam were doing that you had to nark?"

Castiel shifted uncomfortably. Everyone else was outside enjoying free time, and Gabriel had cornered Castiel when the boy had come in to grab a sweater. "Y-You broke the rules."

"Who's rules?!" Gabriel's voice was rising as his anger grew, and he took a step towards his peer.

"C-Crowleys-" Castiel stumbled out, eyes widening and heart speeding up.

"Well news flash, angel face. Crowley isn't a god. He doesn't get to tell us what is right and wrong. And you're an idiot for believing he can." Gabriel was very close to Castiel now, and his eyes held a burning passion that Castiel couldn't face, so he opted to look at a spot of the floor instead.

"It's not just Crowley. Even the bible says that-"

Gabriel huffed a sarcastic laugh and turned away from Castiel, returning some space between the two of them. "The bible!" He exclaimed, lips turning into a mocking smile. "All you self hating Christians turn to the bible as some kind of magical defense!" He took in a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. His eyes bore into Castiel's, eyes holding an emotion Castiel couldn't place. "You know, if this God was all loving, you'd think he'd be proud of his creations instead of condemning them."

Castiel's eyes widened as Crowley rounded the corner. He sighed in a huff, and waved Gabriel forward. "Come on, you're ride is outside."

Gabriel looked at Castiel once more before he turned to follow Crowley outside, leaving the boy alone in the hall, mind racing. All Castiel's life, he's been told how all-powerful God was, and how to stay in his good favor. But he also knew God was the most benevolent being in the universe.

Was Gabriel right? Could God really forgive him for feeling the way he was feeling?

"Cas? You in here?" came a voice from the door. Castiel swung around and saw Dean walking towards him, face impatient. "There you are. What, did you get your sweater from Norway? C'Mon, lets go."

Castiel nodded, walking towards his friend. He'd have to worry about all this later- right now was Dean time. As Castiel moved to go outside, Dean's hand shot out, wrapping his fingers around his friends wrist.

Castiel looked at Dean, startled. "W-What is it?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Look, I know you're bumming hard over what happened with Gabriel. I just want you to know I'm still on your side. It was those idiots fault anyways, fooling around where they could be caught." He paused, giving Castiel's wrist a comforting squeeze. "So I was thinking, how about you and me slip out tonight? There is something I've been dying to show you."

Castiel blinked once, brow furrowing. "Slip out?" A light went off in his head as he gasped. "You mean sneak out? That's ridiculous! We could get caught!"

Dean rolled his eyes at that. "No we won't. I do it all the time."

So that's why Dean was never around whenever Castiel snuck out of bed to see him. Castiel looked around to make sure no one was listening and lowered his voice. "Are… you sure we won't get caught?"

Dean smiled then, brilliant as ever. "I promise."

Castiel smiled back, whispering a quiet ok, ignoring the butterflies he felt when Dean's hand slid into his own.

The crickets chirped as Dean pulled Castiel along the building. The two boys' were dressed in black, backs pressed against the outer walls as they snuck under Crowley's window. Dean smirked as he heard the familiar heavy snoring piercing the air. Castiel mouthed 'Crowley?' to Dean, but he shook his head and mouthed 'Meg."

Castiel held in a chuckle as Dean pulled him farther down the building, before he jerked him away, pulling him towards the dense forest. Castiel pumped his legs, doing his best to keep up with Dean without tripping, and soon they were hidden in the trees. Castiel leaned against a nearby fir, catching his breath and wiping away a bead of sweat dripping down his face.

His eyes caught Dean's, and he was surprised to find an alien emotion there, before the boy quickly turned his head. "So…" he started, slowly looking back at Castiel. "The clearing is just ahead- you ok to walk?"

Castiel rolled his eyes, pushing himself away from the tree. "Dean, I'm out of shape, but not invalid. Lead the way," he spoke, making a grand gesture with his hand, waving forward.

Dean let out a chuckle, taking his hand and tugging Castiel forward. "Then lead I will," he whispered, and Castiel's collar warmed up, a blush spreading up his neck. How Dean could make him embarrassed at the drop of a hat, he will never know- but the warmth of Dean's hand around his reminded him that he didn't care.

They walked in silence, just enjoying the alone time, not worrying if Bela or Crowley would round the corner and force them into more gender appropriate activities. Castiel snuck a look at Dean, whose face was more relaxed then he ever remembers seeing it. Castiel decided he liked this look on him, and a small part of him wished it was _him_ calming Dean, instead of the tranquil forest.

Then, all too soon, they were in a clearing. It was small, with a tiny pond in the middle of it. It was pretty sure, but Castiel failed to see what captured Dean's interest about it.

Dean smiled at him, and like he could read his thoughts, he pointed at the pond. "Look there," he spoke quietly, and Castiel gave him a look before approaching the small pool slowly. His eyes widened as the water began to glow.

At the bottom of the pond were hundreds of brilliant blue stones. Castiel lowered himself to the grass, hand reaching in to pull one out of the water. He smiled softly as he held it up to the moon, marveling at the shimmer as it caught the moonlight.

He heard Dean's breath hitch, and his eyes shot over to catch the look on his face. It was the same expression he saw when they had entered the forest, though this time he recognized it- it was a look of pure awe. Castiel lowered the stone, eyes moving to stare at his lap.

"I knew it," Dean whispered, taking a seat on the ground beside Castiel. "I knew they would make you're eyes look even more amazing."

Castiel felt his own breath hitch, and his eyes widened a fraction while his hand gripped the stone. "E-Excuse me?" was all he could muster.

Dean looked up at the sky, eyes staring at the moon. "I found this place just before you started, you know. I was just fuckin' around in the woods, looking for a place to relax when bam! Here I was." He let out a sigh. "At first, I thought nothing of it, just a small pond in a little clearing. Then the moon came out, and the pond began to glow… Goddamn Cas, it was beautiful." Dean paused; eyes sliding back to look at Castiel. "You're just like it."

Castiel felt his eyebrows rise, his mouth moving before he could even think. "What do you mean?"

Dean smiled, looking back at the sky. "You know, at first glance I thought you were just this little, unremarkable nerd." Castiel felt a retort bubble in his throat, but it died the moment Dean continued speaking. "Then you looked at me. Your eyes, Cas… they are just like this pond. The moment they light up, everything kinda just stops, and all I can think about is how to get them to light up again. What I'm trying to say is…" Dean trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, and Castiel swore he could see the other boy blush. "…you're just fucking beautiful, Cas."

Castiel swallowed, his heart pounding in his ears. As a man, he figured should find something wrong with being called beautiful- but the warmth flooding his body drowned those thoughts out. His body tingled with this unfamiliar feeling, struggling with the urge to reach out and touch Dean. To hold him, wrap up in him and feel this warmth forever. He looked up to catch Dean's eyes and let a shy smile fall on his lips. "I'm beautiful?"

Dean smiled, eyes crinkling in amusement. "Absolutely." He shifted then, moving closer to Castiel. Almost in slow motion, Dean dipped his head down, pressing his lips to Castiel's.

The first thought that struck Castiel was how different Dean's lips were from Anna's. Hers were large and soft and pliable, letting him do whatever he wanted. Dean's were smaller, but more demanding. He knew what he wanted, and he was determined to take it. His lips moved against Castiel's, and with a swift lick, his lips were open.

Castiel's tongue gently touched Dean's, and he almost jumped as a shock of pleasure ran through him. His hands moved to grip Dean's shoulders, body moving into him more. Dean placed a hand on his neck, holding him there as he delved into him mouth, and Castiel couldn't help but let out a quiet mewl.

It wasn't until Dean pulled away that Castiel fully realized what he had just done. He had given into temptation and kissed another boy. Panic blew threw him, eyes widening and an overwhelming need to flee settled in.

Dean didn't seem to notice, and he dove back in for a second kiss. Castiel gasped, pulling back and falling over, chest heaving has he struggled to breathe. Dean was on him then, eyes full of concern. "Cas? You ok?"

"We shouldn't be doing this…" Castiel whispered, looking up at Dean while a wave of guilt washed over him. "We shouldn't be out here…" He paused, turning his face away from Dean's intense gaze. "…and I shouldn't be feeling this way."

Dean looked at him for a moment longer, before sighing, and flopping down next to him. "Cas, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?"

Castiel blinked, and turned to look at Dean. "I don't see how-"

"Just answer. Please," he asked, face serious.

Castiel let out a breath, and returned to looking at the stars. "I'd want to be happy."

"And what makes you happy?" Dean asked, his own eyes wandering to the stars.

Castiel closed his eyes, heart rate finally calming down. "You."

Dean let a soft smile grace his face. "Then don't you think God would want you to be happy?"

Castiel's eyes snapped open. _God just wants you to be happy-_ His mother used to say that to him often before she died. How could he have forgotten something so important? The simplest concept had been warped and twisted as he grew, until he was more concerned with approval then his own happiness.

Castiel slowly sat up, relief washing over him. It was like he had finally released a heavy burden he had been carrying his whole life, and he was finally free. Free to just _be._

Dean turned to look at Castiel as he rose, and eyebrow quirked. "Cas?"

Castiel turned to him, smile brilliant. "You're right Dean. God would want me to be happy."

Dean smiled up at him, hand moving to cover his hand with his own. "I want that too, you know. For you to be happy."

Castiel's smile, if possible, grew. He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss on Dean's lips before pulling back. "I am happy."

"Dean!" Sam called out to his brother, stopping him on his way outside. "You have a minute?"

Dean looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Dude, can't it wait? Cas is waiting for me."

Sam bit his cheek, a nervous habit he held onto from child hood, and shifted uncomfortably. "That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about."

Dean glanced outside the door to see Castiel sitting in their usual spot, wrapping his coat around him as the wind picked up. "Fine, but make it quick. He dies of hypothermia and it's on your head."

Sam rolled his eyes, and led Dean back to their shared bedroom. "Ok look," he said as Dean closed the door behind him. "I know what's going on between you."

Dean sat down on his bed, and raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Sam sat on the opposite bed, running a hand through his hair. "I know you brought Cas out last night. What the hell were you thinking Dean? What would you have done if Crowley-"

Dean held his hands up in defense. "Woah, woah! Hold on a sec. Okay yeah, me and Cas snuck out last night, but nothing happened."

Sam shook his head, eyebrows lowering in disbelief. "I'm not an idiot, Dean. You don't think I see the way you look at Cas? It was the same way Gabe-" he cut himself off, covering his mouth with his fist. He coughed, and lowered his hand before continuing. "Do you really want to repeat history?"

Dean became tense then. "We don't talk about that, Sam."

"Well it seems like we have to, cause you just aren't getting it. How do you know Cas won't turn out like Benny? He already ratted me out, or have you forgotten?" Sam was getting angry now, Gabriel's back as he left still fresh in his mind.

Dean's eyes narrowed, glaring dangerously at his younger brother. "Watch it Sam. Cas had his reasons."

"Yeah, those reasons being he's a homophobic, bible thumping asshole!" Sam's voice was rising, face reddening slightly.

Then Dean did something he swore he never would- he punched his brother. His fist shot out, cracking his brother in the jaw, sending him flying back on the bed. His first hurt, and watched as his brother sat up, wide eyed and holding his face. "Sammy, I'm sorry-"

"Save it Dean. Thought I'd warn you, but doesn't seem like you want to hear it." He stood, walking briskly towards the door. "I just hope you know what you're doing," he mumbled, walking out into the hall.

Dean gave it a few moments, before he followed his brother, making his way outside where Castiel was still waiting for him. He felt doubt well in his stomach- was fighting really worth this? Was anything?

Castiel caught sight of him then, and let loose a bright smile, like Dean was the only one in the world. He knew then that Castiel was worth everything. He would do anything if it meant seeing that smile.

He smiled back, taking a seat beside his partner. "Hello Dean- what took you so long?"

Dean shrugged, moving his hand so it lay next to Castiel's. "Just had a chat with Sam. Nothing to worry about."

Castiel swiveled his head to see Sam sitting a few feet away, nursing his chin and frowned. He turned back to Dean, who was staring off into the distance and shifted his eyes to look at their hands. He lifted his pinky, hooking it with Dean's, which brought the boys attention back to him. "It's going to be alright, Dean."

Dean smiled half-heartedly at his friend, nodding. "I hope so, Cas. I hope so."

What they didn't know was that Meg had heard everything. She had listened to every word Dean and Sam spoke to each other, and had carefully filed it into her memory. She smiled watching Castiel and Dean talk outside her window and let a quiet chuckle as she turned to walk back to Crowley's office. "This is going to be fun…"

Which is exactly why Meg approached Dean two days later. "Hey handsome."

Dean blinked once as Meg sauntered forward, blocking his way to the washroom. "Uh… hi?"

"You got a minute?" she spoke low, and if Dean didn't know any better, he would have sworn Meg was flirting with him.

Except he _did_ know better. "Drop the act Meg. What do you want?" He wanted to wrap this up as fast as he could. They were in the middle of a soccer game, and he was worried Sam might say something to Cas if he was gone too long.

Meg smirked, crossing her arms. "Right to business then huh? I can dig that." She stepped closer to him, and Dean wanted to choke on the cloud of perfume he caught wafting off of her. "I need you to do something for me."

It was Dean's turn to smirk. "Oh yeah? And what makes you think I'm going to do anything for you?"

Meg shrugged, face nonchalant. "Oh I don't know, maybe because I know you and angel-boy have been sneaking out for quickies out back?"

Dean froze, eyes locking on Meg's growing smile. A sinking feeling grew in his stomach as his fists balled into tight fists. "How did you-"

"Spare me the who, what, when speech, kid. You have something I want, and I have something you need to keep quiet. So I'll try this again- I want you to do something for me." Meg shifted, placing a hand on her hip, eyebrow rising.

Dean ground his teeth. He knew what would happen if this was leaked- the same thing that happened to Gabriel. They would be interrogated, scolded, and kicked out- not to mention ostracized from their homes. Castiel would be made to feel guilty about who he was, just as he was beginning to blossom and finally accept himself. Dean would be damned if he let this woman ruin all that. "What can I do for you?"

Castiel looked around, waiting for Dean to return to the field. He had been gone for a good twenty minutes, and a pang of worry was gnawing at his stomach. He heard footsteps and looked up as Sam stepped towards him, face grim. "Hey Cas," he said, eyes still looking at the ground.

"Hello Sam," he greeted stiffly. All he had been receiving from Sam was silence and dirty looks, so he could hardly be blamed for being weary of the boy. "What can I do for you?"

"Uh…" he started, kicking some dirt on the ground. Crowley had gone off to search for Dean, and it was just the two of them outside. "I wanted to apologize."

That caught Castiel off guard. Out of everything he was expecting Sam to say, an apology was the last thing o the list. "For what?"

Sam let out a quiet breath, eyes rising to meet Castiel's. "I know I haven't been the greatest guy to be around lately, and I thought you at least deserved to know why." Castiel raised an eyebrow, prompting the boy in front of him to continue. "I've been really worried about Dean, you know? And this thing between the two of you… I just don't want him to get hurt."

Castiel cocked his head to the side, his eyebrow creasing. "Sam, I would never do anything to hurt Dean."

Sam nodded, eyes moving to the ground. "I know… It is just that he dated someone like you before, and well… it didn't end very well."

"What do you mean?" Castiel ask, curiosity bubbling in his chest. Dean never spoke about his past, let alone any relationships he might have had. He had to admit he had been wondering if Dean had even dated at all.

Sam let out a sigh, shifting. "He would kill me if I told you this, but you have a right to know. Benny was Dean's first and only boyfriend, you know, before he came here. They actually met at a church function, and all of a sudden Benny was over all the time, hanging out, studying, having dinner- I really should have seen it sooner, but they just looked like best friends who spent a lot of time together. Then-" Sam let out another sigh, eyes staring up at the clouds as he recalled the past. "Benny went to our pastor. He confessed his sins, and pinned it all on Dean. The pastor called our parents, confronted him, scolded him, it was a real mess. Benny told Dean he couldn't live a life away from God, and left him- just like that."

Castiel felt a wave of sympathy wash over him. He never knew Dean's life held such a dark stain. He couldn't imagine facing his pastor while being condemned to hell. All he wanted to do was find Dean and wrap his arms around him, to sooth him and let him know he wasn't going anywhere. "Sam.. I- I'm sorry. You are right to worry; I don't have the best track record for keeping my lips shut. I feel that I owe you an apology as well- what I did to you and Gabriel was inexcusable. I was frightened of my own feelings, and it seemed much easier to place blame on you both then face myself. I truly am sorry."

Sam smiled then, a gentle smile- forgiving. "That means a lot Cas, thank you."

The two of them stood there in comfortable silence, until- "MEG! WHAT IN GODS NAME ARE YOU DOING?!" Crowley's voice cut through the calm air, and the boys found themselves scrambling towards the door to see what was transpiring inside.

Castiel rounded the corner to the bedroom, and froze at what he saw. Dean was stretched out on the bed with a blanket covering his lower half, while Meg was slipping back into her pants. He felt his stomach drop, his brain freezing as it struggled to process the scene before him.

It was Sam who spoke, brow furrowing in anger. "Dean? What the hell is going on here?"

"I'll tell you what is going on here! Your filthy brother was touching my daughter!" Crowley boomed, face red. The air rushed out of Castiel's lungs, his worst fear confirmed by the small mans words.

Dean said nothing, looking out the window as Crowley barked at Meg to finish dressing. He pulled her out of the room, a string of obscenities falling from his lips, while Cas just stood there, eyes glued to Dean as his body grew numb. "Dean?" he heard himself whisper.

Dean looked at him, eyes hard. "What?" he snapped, and Castiel flinched at the cold, unfamiliar tone.

He felt Sam rest a hand on his shoulder, fingers squeezing reassuringly. "Dean, please tell me you didn't…"

Dean rolled his eyes, sliding out of the bed to grab his clothes, slipping his boxers over his hips. "No Sam, this was an elaborate prank. Gotcha."

Castiel stepped forward almost automatically, eyes never leaving Dean. "Dean… why-"

"Oh can it, Cas. You didn't really think we were going somewhere, did you? I was bored, you were there, end of story. Can you blame me if a better offer came along?" Everything out of Dean's mouth was like a shot at Castiel's heart, pain spreading out and burning out his nerves.

His fist curled, and his eyes dropped into a dark glare. "Oh I get it. I was just a way to pass time." He turned his back on Dean then, jaw tightening as a lump began to swell in is throat. "Good to know." With that, he walked from the room, legs carrying him quickly outside.

The cool air brushed over him, but it did nothing to sooth the pain. He was hurt and angry, and wanted to curl up under a tree and die. He had finally given himself permission to care- to be himself, and look where it got him. Was this God's way of punishing him? Give him everything he thought he wanted, then tearing it away just as quickly?

He spared a glance back at the house, resolve settling in his chest.

He couldn't stay there. He couldn't deny himself any longer, and without Dean, nothing was keeping him there.

So he began to formulate a plan of escape. The only question was- where would he go?

Lucky for Castiel, he didn't have to worry about that for long. That night, during their free time, Dean was nowhere to be found and instead a sheet of paper fluttered down and joined him on the grass.

He had barely lifted it from the ground when Sam came running at him, face a mirror of panic. "Cas, have you seen-" He froze, noticing the boy was gripping a piece of paper in his hands. "Is that-"

"A letter from Gabriel? Yes. Seems like he is doing well at… wait, what is this place? The _Rebellion_?" Castiel's eyes scanned the paper, noting Gabriel mentioning the place he was living, along with the _Rebellion_.

Sam reached out, snatching the paper from his hands, cutting Castiel's musings short. He shoved the letter into his pocket, face brightening. "That's… private." In any other circumstance, Castiel might have laughed at the obvious embarrassment that Sam was suffering from, but his mind was running to fast for him to dwell on it too long.

"How long has Gabriel been contacting you? And where is this _Rebellion?_" Castiel asked, suddenly.

Sam's eyes let out a cough- another tactic to hide his embarrassment- and shrugged. "Since he left. No big deal, he is just letting me know how he's doing…" His eyes narrowed in suspicion, shoulders rising in defense. "Why?"

Castiel let his eyes settle on Sam, expression serious. "Because I'm leaving."

Sam's eyes widened a fraction, hand shooting out to clamp down on Castiel's shoulder tightly. "What do you mean leaving? You can't-"

Castiel patted Sam's wrist gently, comforting. He understood Sam's worry, really he did, but this was something he had to do, and he needed him to understand that. "Yes I can, Sam. And I will. This isn't just about Dean anymore… A wise man once said that if God truly loved us, he would want us to be happy. How can I stay in a place that denies that very happiness?"

Sam's mouth opened and closed as he struggled to find a valid argument, but failed to find one and just settled with squeezing Castiel's shoulder once more before dropping his hand. "I hope you know what you're doing…" he spoke low, reaching into his shorts and pulling out a slip of paper and a pencil. He scribbled down the address to the _Rebellion_ and handed it to his friend.

Castiel gave him a reassuring nod and whispered a word of thanks, before turning on his heel to walk back to the house. He could finally start packing, getting ready to leave the ugly blue house his father dropped him off at mere weeks ago.

He was no longer Castiel Novak, son of Zachariah, boyfriend of Anna and devoted member of the church. He was Castiel, the boy he wants to be. No longer defined by roles and expectations- he was free. He was happy.

"Cas," a voice whispered from the darkness. Castiel froze, hand clutching his suitcase as he turned his body slowly. He let out a breath of relief when he was met with Sam holding a flashlight.

"Oh… Sam," he responded, placing his suitcase down on the ground. "Guess this is it."

Sam nodded, and before he knew it, Castiel found himself swept up into the giants arms. Sam squeezed him tightly, before releasing him with a shy smile. "Goodbye Cas. Be careful, ok? And make sure Gabe takes care of himself." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper bag. "If it isn't too much trouble, can you give this to him?"

Castiel smiled, taking the bag from his friend. "Of course Sam. And thank you, you know, for everything."

Sam gave him a warm smile. Castiel was going to miss him- the strength of it shocking him momentarily. He really had become a good friend. With a final farewell, he was on his way out the door as quietly as he could manage.

Then he was gone. He slipped into the woods, feet carrying him through trees. He tried to hurry, but the forset just became thicker as he continued- maybe it would have been easier to travel along the road?

After what seemed like hours, Castiel found himself on the other side of the forest. His shoes were caked with mud, his face glistening with sweat, and his arms burned from dragging his belongings through the foliage- but he made it.

He let out a breath of relief, stepping onto the road. His eyes searched for the _Rebellion's_ building, squinting out into the darkness. He was starting to realize that his plan was more then flawed- hell, he didn't even bring a flashlight with him!

Just as he was berating himself for his lackluster escape plan, lights blinded him as a large red truck came around the bend. Castiel raised his arm to shield his eyes from the assault, stepping back as the vehicle rolled closer.

"Hey, you okay over there?" a voice called from the truck. Castiel looked up to find the vehicle had stopped, and a scruffy man with a truckers cap was leaning out the window.

Castiel dug into his pocket, pulling out the address Sam had given him. "I'm fine, I'm just looking for 67 Connelly Drive."

The man regarded him with confusion, eyebrows knitting together. "Well, that'd be my place. What can I do ya for?"

Castiel beamed, relief sinking into his bones. "Oh thank god. I'm looking for my friend Gabriel. I hear he's staying with you?"

Realization dawned on the mans face, and he smiled. "Oh! Well why didn't you say so? Climb in, I'll give you a lift."

Castiel tugged his bag forward, throwing it into the trunk of the pick up. As soon as he opened the passenger's side, he flooded the man with appreciation. "Thank you so much. I have no idea what I would have done it you hadn't driven by."

The man let out a chuckle, putting his truck into drive. "Me neither, kid." He glanced at Castiel, assessing him briefly, before his eyes returned to the road. "I know one thing for sure- you need one helluva bath."

Castiel felt himself flush, and his eyes found his hands as they worried the fabric of his shirt. "Yeah… the forest was a lot muddier then I expected."

The man let out another laugh. "I'm guessing you never spent much time outdoors, did ya?"

Castiel shook his head, mumbling a quiet "No sir."

"None of that 'sir' crap, boy. The names Bobby, and you best remember it." Bobby was gruff, but it was enough to get Castiel to relax. He let out a soft breath, body letting go of the tension he never realized he was holding onto. "You know, it's only polite to give yer own name, you know."

Castiel looked at him wide eyed for a moment, before he flushed again. "O-Oh, I'm sorry, my names Castiel. Castiel Novak."

Bobby nodded once. "Pretty fancy name. So tell me somethin'- you from the same uh… program as Gabe?"

Castiel nodded, eyes lowering to stare at the dashboard. "Yeah. I was kind of the reason he had to leave in the first place." His voice was sad even to his own ears. He wasn't even sure Gabriel would see him- the last time they saw each other, he was giving Castiel one hell of a death glare.

As if he could read his thoughts, Bobby spoke. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it. Best thing to happen to him was getting out of that hellhole. The stuff they try to shove down yer throat over there is pure bullshit."

Castiel looked at him then, eyebrows raised. "You sound like your speaking from experience."

Bobby hummed, leaning back into his seat a bit as he turned onto a side street. "Yeah, I was a 'patient' there a while back, when Alistair still owned it. Man, that was one hell of a time." He smirked then, glancing over at Castiel. "You know his son, Crowley? Two of us fooled around on more then one occasion."

Castiel's eyes opened as far as they could, before he let out a body-racking laugh. "Crowley!? That's hilarious!" He breathed out as his laughing died down.

Bobby nodded, his own smile widening. "Guy should really practice what he preaches."

Castiel wiped a tear from his eyes, chest heaving as he caught his breath. "Man, I can totally see it now. No straight guy keeps his shoes that clean."

Bobby snorted as they pulled into a driveway. "Well, here we are. Home sweet home." He jerked his door open, stepping out and moving to the rear of the truck to grab Castiel's bag.

Castiel smiled in appreciation, following him from the truck to the front door. Before Bobby could unlock it, however, it swung open by itself. In the door way stood a tall, thin man. His eyes were dark and his hair was messy and blonde- he reminded Castiel of a cooking show host he saw once, before his father had turned it off due to it's 'filthy language.'

"Bobby! You will _not_ believe-" he paused, looking over to Castiel, eyebrow raising in interest. "Who the bloody hell is this?"

Bobby rolled his eyes and pushed the man out of the way, and Castiel scurried after him, head bent. The blonde man huffed, closing the door behind him and followed as they moved to the living room. "You seen Gabe?" Bobby asked as he set down Castiel's things by the couch.

The blond man made a grand gesture of sitting on the love seat, let out a dramatic sigh. "Oh I might have, I might not have. Are you going to answer my question, or am I going to have to pull it out of the poor boy myself?"

Bobby took a seat as well, opting for the old armchair that sat across the room. "This here's Castiel. Escaped from the homo camp up the hill. Cas, this is Balthazar, the house asshole."

Balthazar made an exaggerated shocked face. "I am _not_!"

Bobby snorted, scratching his neck. "Yeah, yeah. Now do you know where Gabe is or not?"

Balthazar cupped his mouth with his hands, before shouting, "Gabe! Get your candy ass down here!"

Castiel felt himself wince, fighting the urge to cover his ears. Bobby spared him no such courtesy, covering his own ears while shooting the blonde a glare. "Watch it, you loud idjit! Damn near blew my hearing out!"

Balthazar smirked, lowering his hands. "Doesn't take much, does it?"

Before Bobby could respond, footsteps could be heard as someone raced down the stairs. "What!?" called the voice, and moments later Gabriel was in the room hands on his hips.

"You've got company," Balthazar sang, gesturing to Castiel who was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

Gabriel's eyes slid over to him, his face impassive. Castiel's heart rate sped up under the other boys' gaze, fear gripping him. Maybe Gabriel really did hate him- maybe he really would kick him out.

All of a sudden, Gabriel's face broke out into a smile, and in a few short strides he was in front of Castiel, arms wrapping around him. "Well look what the cat dragged in!" He pulled back a bit, hands moving to grip Castiel's shoulders, giving him a once over. "You look like hell, man. What happened?"

"He took the forest route," Bobby answered, as he reached for the bottle of bourbon from the side table.

Gabriel laughed, shaking his head. "Figures _you_ would take the most difficult path, eh?" He released Castiel, smile widening. "Man, it's good to see you."

Castiel let himself smile as well, relief rushing through him. "You too, Gabriel. You have no idea. I just want you to know how terribly sorry-"

Gabriel held up his hands, shaking his head. "Water under the bridge, amigo. I'm just glad your safe and that you got out. That place sucks the good out of ya, I swear."

Castiel nodded in agreement. The farther he was from True Directions, the more free he felt. A thought sparked in his mind as he remembered the package Sam gave him. His hand reached into his pocket, pulling out the crumpled brown paper bag. He held it forward for Gabriel to take, his lips turning up into a gentle smile. "From Sam."

Gabriel took it with out a word, moving towards the dining table. Castiel followed, curiosity bubbling up in his chest. What could have Sam possibly given Gabriel?

Gabriel took a seat; pouring the contents onto the table- it was a collection of candy hearts. Upon closer inspection, there were small numbers written on them with what Castiel assumed was pen.

He watched as Gabriel silently arranged the candy in numerical order, and Castiel gasped quietly as the message became clear.

**Angel. Be Good. Be Mine. All Mine. You & Me. How Nice. I Love You.**

It wasn't the most eloquent wording- but it was the most beautiful thing Castiel had ever seen. He watched as Gabriel's eyebrows knitted together slowly, his lips trembling. "I…" he started, eyes never leaving the message. "I left these with him, the candy. Thought he could use a bit of sweetness in that bitter place. And he…" He sobbed then, the first tear falling onto the table. "God Cas, I miss him so much."

Castiel moved forward then, arms wrapping around the boys shoulders, holding him tightly. "And he misses you, Gabriel. More then you know."

Gabriel nodded, wiping away the tears that were now flowing freely. "I know… he wanted to leave with me. Said we could start new somewhere- but I was the one who said no. I couldn't-" he spoke, voice breaking off as another sob escaped his throat. "I couldn't let him give up his family, his brother, for me. Guy's going to be a hot shot lawyer, last thing he needs is some faggot dragging him down."

Castiel flinched slightly at the mention of Dean, but ignored it. "You aren't a faggot. You're just a boy who happens to love another boy. Took me a while to see it, but how can something so innocent be considered anything else?"

Gabriel sat there silently for a moment, and Castiel feared he may have cried himself out, before the boy in his arms let out a chuckle. "When the hell did you get so wise?" He turned his head slightly; looking up at Castiel, smile ghosting on his lips. "You reek, by the way. You smell like pine wood and shit."

Castiel shoved him gently, eyes narrowing in a playful glare.

Gabriel directed him to the shower, before picking up Castiel's bag and carrying it to one of the spare bedrooms. Bobby insisted he stay with them until he had everything situated, and Castiel couldn't be more grateful.

As he stood under the streaming water, he finally allowed himself to look over the last few weeks of his life. Was it really that long ago that he was sitting at his kitchen table, pouring over his math books, Anna sitting across from him working on a cheer for the next game? He'd never thought his life would spiral so far off course.

But that what life is, isn't it? It's unexpected and unpredictable- that's what makes it worth living. So he wasn't getting married to Anna, buying a house in a quiet neighborhood and living in miserable resignation for the rest of his life. He was in love with a boy who didn't love him back, his family and friends want nothing to do with him, and he had no idea what to do next.

He was okay, he realized as he lathered soap into his hair. He had a roof over his head, he had a friend he could lean on, and he had a fresh, new road ahead of him full of possibilities. It was exciting- or the first time in his life, he could do anything. It was exhilarating.

He patted himself dry, slipping into the baggy shorts and t-shirt Gabriel lent him. He wandered back to the living room just as Gabriel was pouring tea. Bobby and Balthazar were nowhere to be seen, and Castiel figured they must have gone to bed- it was pretty late after all.

Gabriel smiled over his shoulder as Castiel took a seat on the couch. "Hey, you want some? Bobby just picked it up- its Vanilla Rooibos," he sang the name, smile widening a fraction.

Castiel smiled back, nodding. "Yeah, that's sounds great, thanks."

Gabriel quickly poured a second cup before carrying the drink over, setting both of them on the coffee table. "So," he started as he took a seat beside Castiel, "what happened?"

Castiel brought the tea up to his lips, blowing softly. "What do you mean?"

"Well something prompted you to bail on the place- what was it?" Gabriel prodded, picking up his own cup.

Castiel let a soft sigh leave his lips, eyes staring into the light colored tea. "It was Dean," he admitted, hand gripping the cup a bit tighter unconsciously.

Gabriel nodded knowingly. "I knew it. What, the two of you caught dickin' around like me and Sammy?"

Castiel snorted, closing his eyes as the image of that day slowly resurfaced. "Oh he was dicking around all right- just happened to be with Meg."

Gabriel almost choked on his tea, eyes wider then Castiel had ever seen them. "He _what?!"_

Castiel shrugged like it was no big deal, even as the lump of emotion settled in his throat. "What can you do? A better offer came along and he took it."

Gabriel set his tea down, shifting to face Castiel. "That doesn't make any sense! I mean, you could tell just by the way he looked at you that-"

"Gabriel, please. I just want to forget about it. Please," he begged, eyes tightening as the lump grew. He knew if he delved any deeper, tears were going to well up again. And he refused to cry, not again.

Gabriel looked like he wanted to say more, but he swallowed it instead, nodding. "Okay, no problem. If you wanna move on, you should. And I know just the place to do it," he spoke, eyebrows raising suggestively. "You, me, The Glory Hole, tomorrow night."

Castiel quirked one eyebrow. "The Glory Hole?"

"The local gay bar- hey, got to give the owner points for his balls. C'Mon, it'll be fun!"

Castiel shrugged, not seeing why not. He wanted to get over Dean- and that's exactly what he was going to do.

He just hoped it wasn't easier said then done.

"Where is he!?" Dean snarled, cornering Sam in the washroom.

Sam feigned confusion, cocking his head to the side. "Who?"

"Cas! Where the fuck is he?" Dean growled again, this time lower.

Sam suppressed a shiver, eyes narrowing. "Why do you care anyways? He's out of the way, so you're free to live a homo-free life with Fuck-Me-Sideways-Meg. Thought you'd be relieved."

Dean slammed his fist against the wall near Sam's head, causing his younger brother to jump. Dean had done many things to Sam, but getting violent wasn't one of them. A hint of fear sparked in his chest, and he looked away from Dean's intense stare before responding. "He's gone."

"Where?!" Dean was getting impatient, the emotion bleeding into that one word.

"He's holed up with Gabe some where. Said he couldn't deny himself anymore, then up and left. Guess he figured with out you, there was nothing keeping him here." Sam let out a sigh of relief as Dean took a step back, his body sagging as the tension left his body.

Dean ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes briefly. "Fuck," he whispered, turning his back on his brother. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

Sam felt his brow lower in confusion, stepping forward. "What wasn't supposed to happen?" When Dean didn't respond, Sam grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. His eyes widened at his brothers expression- his face was pinched with pain, his jaw tight and his face red. Dean looked absolutely miserable. "Dean…?"

"It was only supposed to be a few days," he mumbled through clenched teeth. "Just a few days and I could tell him, apologize, and…" he cut himself off, swallowing thickly. "Now he's gone."

"Dean, what are you talking about?" Sam's head was swimming, trying to piece together what his brother was saying.

Dean took a deep breath through his nose, before letting it out through his lips. "Meg. She found out about Cas and me. Said if I didn't help her out she'd tell Crowley and... I couldn't do that to him, Sam. I just couldn't."

"So you slept with her," Sam thought out loud, mind working to keep up.

"No!" Dean shot, his suddenly vicious glare startling Sam. "No, we just made it look like we did. She… wanted to prove to Crowley she was reformed. Wanted him to let her leave early so she could make some vacation she planned with her girlfriend." He let out a deep breath, eyes looking into Sam's. "I only had to play along till she left. Then I could tell Cas, and everything would have been-" he choked again, slamming his eyes shut "Fuck."

"Dean…" Sam started, watching his brother come undone in front of him. "I'm sorry. I should have stopped him, but-"

Dean shook his head, shifting so he could lean against the wall, eyes opening a fraction to stare at the ground. "Not your fault. You didn't know."

Sam winced at the sound of his voice- it sounded broken, defeated. It sounded nothing like the Dean Sam had looked up to.

An idea dawned on him as he realized what day it was. "You up for a trip?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

Dean's eyes shot up to look at his face, confusion creasing his brow. "What?"

Sam smiled then; more devious then Dean had ever seen him. "I know where Cas is going to be tonight."

"Uh, Gabriel?" Castiel called as they made their way through the crowd. "I don't know about this!"

Gabriel rolled his eyes, pulling Castiel through the crowd until they reached the bar. "Two rum and cokes!" he flagged down the bartender, ordering their drinks. He turned to his friend as Castiel took a seat. "You need to relax, man. Have a drink, dance a little- just let _go,_" Gabriel prompted, smacking Castiel on the back.

Castiel winced a little, but smiled nonetheless. That was the reason they came to _The Glory Hole_ after all. They were there to have fun and let loose. His only problem was that he didn't exactly know _how_ to do that. He spent his life learning to suppress himself; how in God's name is he supposed to just… let go?

Gabriel handed him a drink smiling. "Drink it!" he cheered, downing his with only a few gulps. Castiel followed suit, the sweetness from the coke mixing with the bitterness of the rum creating a pleasant burn as it slid down his throat.

"Another!" Castiel called, and Gabriel laughed.

"There ya go! Drink and be merry!" His eyes glanced out at the crowd until his eyes landed on someone he recognized, and with a wave goodbye, he was gone.

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, turning around to face the bar. He smiled in thanks as the bartender brought his drink, and took a small sip as he listened to the music change. He lowered his eyes as his mind wandered, skimming over some loose thoughts before settling on Dean.

He couldn't stop the frown that began to crease his face. He missed him. He couldn't deny he missed the way Dean made him feel, the way Castiel seemed to mean something for once in his life. His heart clenched as the alcohol washed over him, allowing him to wallow in his feelings.

"Woah, long face. Don't tell me you were stood up," a voice sounded beside him, and Castiel turned his head to catch a man sitting down beside him.

"I'm sorry?"

The man laughed, turning to face Castiel. He was young, with short-cropped hair in the front, while long locks hung from the back of his neck. He wore a flannel vest and scuffed up jeans, and his face held a gentle smile. "Only a blind man would bail on a beauty like you." He held out his hand, shaking Castiel's twice, before letting it drop. "The names Ash. Mind if I have a drink with you?"

Castiel bit his cheek, flushing. "Um, Castiel. Look, I'm sorry. I'm not really looking…"

Ash laughed, shaking his head. "No worries, you just looked like you needed to talk. I'm here to listen. So tell me, what's got that pretty little face of yours frowning, huh?"

Castiel let out a sigh, shifting to face Ash, forcing a small smile in his direction. "I'm that obvious, huh?"

Ash nodded, sipping his beer. "Afraid so. Now spill it."

Castiel found himself focusing on his glass, playing with the rim as began to tell Ash about Dean, what he did, how he made him feel, even about the empty hole he felt nipping at his heart. "Guess it's a story as old as time. The dreadful tale of unrequited love… I just never thought I'd be one of them." Castiel bit his lip then, his eyes stinging as he struggled to keep himself from crying. "Oh God, this is embarrassing…"

"Oh hey now," Ash spoke, leaning forward to wipe a tear that had broken free. "We've all been there- heart break sucks. If they didn't, we wouldn't be spending thousands of dollars a year on self help books and therapy." He leaned closer, holding Castiel's face between his hands, forcing him to look up at him. "You need to remember it was him who was lacking, not you. Ten years from now he'll be sitting around alone, wishing he had held onto the one beautiful thing in his life." He let out a quiet sigh, eyes softening with regret. "God knows I do."

Castiel gripped his wrists, a soft smile tugging at his lips. He nodded, pulling Ash's hands away. "Thank you Ash."

Before Ash could respond, he was jerked from his seat by the collar of his vest and tossed to the floor. He looked up in time to see Castiel stand, eyes wide and mouth slack. "Get the hell away from him!" The boy shouted, eyes blazing.

"Dean?" Castiel managed, stepping forward.

Dean whirled around, closing in on Castiel, hands patting him down, eyes searching him franticly. "You okay? He didn't do anything to you, did he? I swear to god if he touched you-"

Castiel shook his head, hands resting on Dean's shoulders unconsciously. "N-No, he's just a friend- Dean? What are you doing here?" His voice shook with disbelief, staring up at the boy he thought he'd never see again.

Dean looked into his eyes then, his eyes softening from the fiery anger they held only moments before. "Well uh…" Now that he was in front of Castiel, he wasn't sure exactly what he wanted to say.

The awkward moment was broken when Ash stood, brushing the dirt off of his pants and snapping a kink in his neck. "Looks like my work here is done," he said, turning from the two. "Treat him right, Dean," he tossed over his shoulder before he disappeared into the crowd.

Dean returned his gaze to Castiel, a smirk quirked on his face. "Weird guy, huh?"

Castiel looked at his feet, shrugging. "I guess."

Dean let out a heavy sigh, tilting his head to catch Castiel's eye with his own. "I didn't sleep with her," he said gently.

Castiel's head shot up. "What?"

"I said I didn't sleep with her. It was a ruse to trick Crowley and I had to keep it a secret until she left." He let out another sigh, face crumpling with pain. "The things I said to you… it hurt so much, but I had to or Meg was going to rat us out." His eyes bore into Castiel's, hands gripping his forearms. "I couldn't do that to you. I didn't want you to end up like…"

Castiel watched as Dean struggled to get out what he had to say. "So all of that was… for me?"

Dean nodded, eyes never leaving his.

Castiel felt his eyes narrow, and he pulled away from Dean's grip, only to punch him roughly in the shoulder. "You jerk!"

Dean flinched, eyes wide as he nursed his arm. "Cas? What-"

"You have no idea," he growled, cutting Dean off, "how _wrecked_ I was! You should have told me! We could have figured something out, you pig headed idiot! Then I-" Castiel paused, breathing ragged as his anger died down, simmering into mild irritation. "I wouldn't have had to miss you like this."

Dean dropped his hand, a smile stretching on his face before he could stop himself. "You missed me?"

Castiel looked away, embarrassment sinking in. "O-Obviously…"

Dean moved in then, wrapping his arms around Castiel holding him tightly. "God, I missed you Cas. Missed you so much," he whispered in his hair.

Castiel smiled, squeezing Dean back. "Me too," he murmured quietly, enjoying the feel of Dean surrounding him.

While the two boys held each other by the bar, Gabriel was getting busy on the dance floor, grinding up against a cute boy with dark hair and large biceps. He was vaguely as someone approached him, and smiled as the guy grabbed his hips, grinding up against him from behind and effectively pulling him away from the other man.

He laughed, turning to face his new dance partner. "You know, its only polite-" He froze as his eyes met large hazel eyes. "S-Sam?"

Sam gave him a lopsided grin. "Hey Gabe."

Gabriel threw his arm around him, arms tight around his torso. Sam laughed at the amount of strength his boyfriend put forth, throwing his own arms over his shoulders. "Why are you here?" Gabriel mumbled, and Sam responded by pulling away and tugging Gabriel away from the crowd towards the wall.

"I came to get you" Sam said, looking down at him. "I couldn't wait any longer."

Gabriel stared up in confusion, hands tightening in the front of Sam's shirt. "But what about Harvard? And your brother?"

Sam pointed to the bar, and Gabriel could help but laugh as he watched the Dean and Castiel pressed together, kissing each other like no one was watching. "As for Harvard, I'll get there. I'll just get there in my own way- I don't need my father paying my way anymore."

Gabriel stared back up at Sam, smiling brightly. "Have I told you how proud I am of you?"

Sam chuckled at that leaning closer. "Have I told you how lame you are?"

Whatever retort Gabriel had died in his throat as Sam pressed his lips against his. Gabriel slid his eyes closed, pressing closer to his boyfriend with a quiet moan. Sam responded by gripping his hips, pulling him flush against him, smiling into the kiss.

Dean pulled away from Castiel, breathing heavily. "God, that was better then I remembered," he breathed, leaning his forehead on Castiel's.

Castiel smiled, nodding once. "Dean," he said after a moment of silence, eyes catching his sated green ones. "What now?"

Dean let a filthy smirk slip onto his face. "Well first, we get you home so I can fuck you senseless. Then tomorrow we will get up, have breakfast, and take it one day at a time."

Castiel smiled back, hand rubbing Dean's shoulder gently. "One day at a time. I like that."

Dean dipped down for another brief kiss, then turned his head and found Gabriel and his brother pressed up against a near by wall. "Looks like Sam found Gabe," he mentioned, shaking his head with a smile.

Castiel laughed as well, pulling Dean towards the crowd. "Dance with me!" he called, laughter in his voice.

Dean smirked, following him into the crowd. As they danced, Castiel forgot about everything- where he was going to live, where he was going to go to school, what he was going to do for money- he let it all go.

He was with Dean.

They were together, and they were going to take it one step at a time.

That was enough.


End file.
